Why I Won’t Be Listing Marriage as a Life Goal

I recently read a blog post asking why it’s hard for Christian singles to admit that we want to be married and have families.

Why is it so hard for us singles to admit we want to be married? Please don’t tell me I’m alone in this struggle. Singles? Since you are reading this post, you are probably a lot like me. You desire marriage and a family. Do you too struggle with the fear of admitting your desires? I think a lot of us singles feel this fear, at least in varying degrees.

I believe this fear that keeps us from admitting our greatest desire comes from several false beliefs.

Please tell me I’m not the only one that finds fault with this sort of teaching. I won’t venture to speak for other singles, but my greatest desire is not to be a wife and mother. That is a desire of mine, but not my greatest.

My greatest desire is to serve the Lord, and live my life to the fullest; to be the best myself that I can be, and to do everything He has called me to do. My greatest desire is to look back at my life when I’m 80 and have no regrets. I want to know that I did my best and took advantage of this beautiful life I’ve been given. I would love it if that ends up including falling in love and having kids, but for now I’m happy. I don’t buy into all those articles and people that say I have to make it clear I want to be married or the men won’t know and I’ll die a spinster.

In my line of work we don’t talk about the “uncontrollables.” I can’t control if/when I fall in love/get married, so no, I won’t be listing that as one of my life goals. I’ll be putting my time and energy into the things I can control: getting healthy, finally learning a second language, taking my dream vacation, working on a higher education, and advancing up the corporate ladder. If any guy out there hesitates to ask me out because the fact that I’m happy and productive in my professional and educational life as well as my domestic life, well then I highly doubt that I’m missing much.

I pray that God blesses my endeavors, and I pray for His guidance, but I believe I can follow Him in my single life, and that’s my main goal. My greatest desire.

“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.”
― Mandy Hale

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